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GREG GUTFELD: Gavin Newsom found his interior Republican Specific Occasions

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Joyful Wednesday, everybody. In order America grew and expanded, nothing represented the promised land greater than California. It was the Golden State, limitless summer season dancing raisins, music icons just like the Seaside Boys and Charlie Manson. “Go west, younger man” was the saying. And true, we have been disgusting sexists even then. However California was actually the last word finish of the American continent and of American aspirations. It was the mountaintop. It attracted immigrants like Arnold Schwarzenegger searching for fame and fortune and bent over housekeepers. However California simply grew to become the top of one thing else. True, progressive insurance policies simply died. And now the woke want a wake. In lieu of flowers, ship Nancy Pelosi a brand new bra. But it surely’s certainly over. That huge loud thud you heard was the progressive agenda hitting the bottom like Joe Biden close to a sandbag. And it was all due to Governor Greasy Locks. Our nation’s bizarre, bitter souls known as journalists will not admit it, however Gav simply caved to actuality and switched political sides. And his motive is what we have identified all alongside: the left’s foolish, sanctimonious adolescent **** merely doesn’t work in the actual world. 

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So how did we get a brand new Newsom? Right now in San Francisco begins the Asian Pacific Financial Cooperation Convention, which is a grifty means of claiming “Let’s spend cash on whores and limos.” That is one thing American politicians have perfected. However like all the things else, Asia learns quick. The visitor of honor, Chinese language Communist Social gathering Chairman Xi Jinping. I really like his menu’s. A RACIST WOULD SAY! However he is no slouch. You wish to see how a world chief exits a airplane? Have a look Joe. That is the way it’s finished. Take a look at that clean, assured descent. You get the sensation he is truly in charge of his limbs. And with no spot or two, it is nearly like he knew the way to use the steps. What number of hours of apply does it take to do this? And it appears to be like like he is aware of the place he’s. Not an ambulance in sight both. Glorious dismount, by the best way. I may watch that for days, and perhaps I’ll. Now you have to get the canine to examine him for fentanyl if Obama hasn’t eaten him first. 

US President Joe Biden (R) and Chinese language President Xi Jinping stroll collectively after a gathering throughout the Asia-Pacific Financial Cooperation (APEC) Leaders’ week in Woodside, California on November 15, 2023. ((Picture by BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP by way of Getty Photographs))

So, with Xi on the town, Newsom found his interior Republican and immediately made San Fran seem like a spot the place individuals would truly wish to stay as a substitute of OD. And also you would not imagine what America’s latest fascist completed in a single weekend. In the dark, pedestrian barricades went as much as management crowds and hold junkies out of the streets. Gone, too, is the graffiti, the rubbish and maybe most clearly gone are the homeless. Poof! Similar to that vanished. That is a whole lot of buses to Martha’s Winery. Even Xi cannot make his personal residents disappear that quick. And that is a man who’s thus far out forward on labor camps that Nike has him on retainer. , normally when individuals disappear from California that quick, they’ve moved to Texas. But it surely’s bizarre that nobody’s asking the place they went and why it could not have been finished sooner if it was that simple to do now. 

Now, because the homeless assume town streets are bathrooms, Newsom desires to ensure the chairman would not step in a San Francisco deal with. And likewise, with Biden scheduled to attend, issues may get fairly messy if the president truly tries to stroll. If he falls in a kind of streets, he’d come up trying like a six-foot-tall Child Ruth. Scrumptious. So why is it that when a lib desires to control successfully, he immediately turns into a conservative? Nicely, let’s ask Gav.

GAVIN NEWSOM: I do know people say, oh, they’re simply cleansing up this place as a result of all these fancy leaders are coming into city. That is true. As a result of it is true.

Ha ha ha ha. Nice reply, proper? That’s what they name in court docket proof. Gavin simply murdered the left’s whole agenda. So, can we now get on with making our Democrat-run cities livable once more? Nicely, sadly, it seems many years of progressivism cannot be undone in a single day. In L.A. on Saturday, a fireplace broken the essential 10 Freeway so badly it will likely be closed for weeks, if not months. Which implies day by day greater than 300,000 residents will miss their Botox appointments. The hearth, which officers already decided was brought on by arson, simply occurred to happen by a homeless camp. Which is like saying there simply occurred to be a bag of coke on the premises the place Hunter Biden occurred to be staying on the time.

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Investigators say it was began below an overpass fueled by picket pallets. And Newsom was fast to say that it did not begin within the camp. However that is clearly a political transfer as a result of town has seen related incidents earlier than. The state has identified for years that fires surrounding these camps is a continuing danger. In 2019, a blaze began in a homeless camp tucked below an L.A. freeway. In June 2021, 54% of the fires responded to by the L.A. Fireplace Division have been brought on by the homeless. And in downtown L.A., that charge was 80%. That is eight out of ten. I really like math. Now, initially, California’s transportation secretary mentioned it was very attainable the hearth began within the camp. Others urged, although, it is perhaps California politicians lighting their very own farts. However in fact, L.A. Mayor Karen Bass warned residents to not leap to conclusions. And why? As a result of yesterday, one other freeway hearth broke out in L.A. in, sure, a homeless camp which is not any shock as a result of there’s a whole lot everywhere in the metropolis. 

San Francisco homeless tents

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – AUGUST 28: Homeless encampment is seen in Tenderloin District of San Francisco, California, United States on August 28, 2023. (Tayfun Coskun/Anadolu Company by way of Getty Photographs)

So I feel I do know the place all these homeless lacking from San Fran went. And apparently they introduced their Weber grills with them. So, yeah, in a single day San Franciscans have seen a exceptional transformation, and all it took was a communist chief to come back for a go to. Now, you assume there’s anybody else on the market who may wish to impress a giant commie? Holy smokes. I feel I simply discovered the way to clear up America’s cities. We may use President Xi like a human DustBuster. So, please, chairman, come to New York. You’ll be able to keep at my place, buddy. I truly personal a wok, and many of the stuff in my house was made in your camps. Then we will go to Baltimore, Philly, Memphis, Houston, Chicago, D.C.. As a result of if there’s one factor a liberal loves, it is exhibiting off to the Reds. However look, even cleansing up San Fran is not going to make up for the remainder of Gavin’s depressing observe file in that state. And the way’s that going to play when he runs for president? Nicely, perhaps we can assist.

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His identify is Gavin Newsom, and he can do for America what he did for California. With him as president, you will get pleasure from pleasant individuals, recent air residing, prescribed drugs with out the lengthy strains at Walgreens. Additionally, no extra Walgreens. And say goodbye to filthy public loos. When the entire world is your bathroom you will not have to carry it in a single second longer than you wish to. Act now, and we’ll convert your automotive to carbon-neutral air-con free of charge. Gavin Newsom is your highest buddy. Dropped at you by the Committee to Make America Horrible.

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